old emails i found from 2005 on my hotmail account

From 11/29/2005

Unedited. I believe these were my first drafts to my 3 personal statement short essays needed for applying to UC's. I remember they were due the next day on 11/30/2005. This was exactly one month after I just turned 17 years old. Rereading them was interesting.

College personal reflection essay prompt #1

Every summer since 8th grade I have lived for six weeks in the dorms of the 
University of California at Santa Barbara for six weeks. Taking additional 
classes with Upward Bound has allowed me to experience independence while 
broadening and enhancing my education.
My first college experience was taking Astronomy 101 at Santa Barbara City 
College. This class would have been more difficult for me had I not been 
apart of the AVID program since 8th grade where I have learned time 
management, organization, and study skills, while prioritizing, and setting 
goals. AVID has made me accustomed to taking detailed notes and listening 
attentively, which enhances my understanding of lectures. I also took the 
initiative to form study and collaborative groups with my classmates in both 
high school and college courses.
I regularly tutor my AVID classmates in a math group, which gives me 
self-satisfaction in knowing that I can teach someone through “guiding 
questions.” This interest in teaching others has lead me to go to AVID 
Mentor workshops to become a certified tutor; currently, I tutor in several 
academic subjects at the library after school. Tutoring has enriched my 
academic preparation for college and has built my confidence in public 
speaking.

This was interesting to read, because I completely forgot that was a "certified tutor" and only vaguely remember tutoring high school students after school in the library. I only sort of remember it, because I recall getting paid for it. I think I only did this for a few months in the Spring of my Senior year. 

College personal reflection essay prompt #2

I know that perseverance is the key to success, and that a challenge is what 
makes success rewarding. Taking difficult classes has made me determined to 
do well, because I am competitive by nature. However, what a reward is 
varies with each person.
I learned by watching my parents labor at our family restaurant that I do 
not want to come home to my children with new burns on my arms from cooking, 
like my father, or angry and fatigued on late nights after working as a 
waitress for twelve hours, like my mother. I have come to understand that it 
often takes sacrifice to contribute to the success of a family or a 
community.
My parents have the passion to push their children to become successful. I 
have the drive to succeed, but I ease the pressures of academics through 
forms of creative expression.
As a relaxation I enjoy creative writing and performing. I have been given 
my own personal column in my high school’s monthly newspaper where I am the 
feature editor. In my writings, I do not try to provoke others or preach, 
but simply try to inspire others to take moral stands and to experience life 
whole-heartedly. Giving readers a sense of how I feel through writing is a 
reward in knowing I have sparked the minds of others.

This was interesting to read, because I don't think I am actually competitive by nature at all.. only against myself perhaps. I was surprised at myself regarding the second paragraph. I still harbor the same feelings, but reading it again was sort of a reminder of my parents' sacrifices for me. I still appreciate it. In regards to the last paragraph, I feel that my interest in creative writing has dramatically decreased somehow. Thinking back, I don't think my writing in my newspaper column, titled "Christine's Column," was very good at all. I think i'd be embarrassed by my articles now if i read any. My interests have changed over time. Now, I don't feel the same satisfaction from writing, probably because all of the damn hundreds of pages of papers I've written in the past years during college has tainted my love for written expression. Instead, I've replaced journalism for design and photography.As for performing, I still enjoy that during my rare moments of confidence. 

College personal reflection essay prompt #3

I cannot remember many bonding moments between my parents and me. This is 
because when I was five years old and in kindergarten, my parents opened 
their own Chinese restaurant leaving little time for me.
While my parents worked twelve-hour days, I was raised by my Vietnamese 
grandparents who spoke only Vietnamese. When I turned eight years old, my 
care was turned over to my maternal grandmother from the Philippines who 
only spoke to me in English. This transition was difficult for me, because I 
was not accustomed to speaking English at home.
I recall having a difficult time learning English in kindergarten. Seeing a 
classmate vomit in the trash can, I ran to tell my teacher, Mrs. Bigger. I 
could not remember how to say “throw up” in English, so I could only resort 
to saying “throw up” in Vietnamese, which sounded like “Oy.” I can still 
imagine my teacher’s facial expression when she heard me say “Mrs. Bigger! 
Kali Mainard ‘Oy’ in the trash can!”
I also realized that no one except my father’s side of my family could 
understand Vietnamese. I began to notice that, living in the agricultural 
community of Santa Maria, I was usually the only Asian person in 
Hispanic-filled classrooms; as a result, I became suddenly embarrassed of my 
Vietnamese accent. I gradually lost sense of my first language, Vietnamese, 
though I sometimes still have dreams of my father speaking to me in his 
native tongue.
In 8th grade, it became my responsibility to help care for my grandmother 
as she was growing old and weak. Every day after school I would help her 
care for my younger sister and baby brother while my parents worked. Because 
my parents were always working, I was not able to get rides to the places 
typical students need to go -choir, basketball, tutoring- and even to and 
from school. From junior high on, I depended on the use of the city bus or 
walking to get to where I needed. My parents’ limited education prevented 
them from helping me with my studies past 5th grade and I have learned to 
take responsibility for what I need to accomplish. By the end of sophomore 
year, I grew more independent and realized that to become successful I must 
rely on myself, because I cannot always have guidance from mentors.
During the summer of my sophomore year, I began working at our Chinese 
restaurant as a hostess and “bus girl.” This was the time I began to truly 
understand why my parents are always so tired when they come home at night 
because I began experiencing the same energy-stealing hours of working at a 
restaurant. Working with my parents made me understand how hard they work to 
provide for my family.
I continue to work part time after school and weekends at the restaurant to 
help out. When it is slow and we have few customers, it allows me to squeeze 
in time to do my homework. While it is difficult to manage school and work, 
I found myself ways to balance a job and academics. This has given me a 
glimpse of what life after high school will be like when I take a full load 
of classes and also work. I am fortunate to experience preparation for real 
life while still in high school.
I believe that the time between the beginning of my sophomore year and the 
end of my junior year was an incredible growth experience for me, but one 
that has prepared me for the challenges of college life.

This entire personal statement was really sentimental to me while I read it. The grammatical errors didn't even bother me in this one. It was such an emotional flashback to a time that hasn't surfaced in my mind in years. I still vividly remember that time in Kindergarten when the girl in my class threw up and I ran and told my teacher. It was a strange feeling for me to have to translate Vietnamese to English in my head, because I got confused at which words to use. I've lost most of my Vietnamese now, which is sad because I was pretty fluent when I was 5 years old. I'm very self-conscious about speaking Vietnamese now, because I'm unable to pronounce things correctly, even though I know how it sounds in my head. It's embarrassing and frustrating for me to repeat what I want to say multiple times to my Vietnamese relatives and then sometimes having to just give up and point or use gestures. And although I don't feel the same level of self-consciousness when I speak in English as I do in Vietnamese, I also still feel some anxiety when I speak in English during public speaking circumstances and even sometimes during casual conversations with friends. I often stumble across my words, sound like I have a lisp, and say things that aren't grammatically correct. I feel like I sounds fobby often, and it's really embarrassing. I think that my confusion between my first two primary languages during my first 8 years of life have definitely affected me somehow now in the sense that I'm so unconfident in speaking in general. I've always been ashamed of how i'm unable to confidently do the physical action of talking to voice my opinions. I get embarrassed of sounding unorganized in thought, of pronouncing things incorrectly, or of not making sense. So instead, i often turn to expressing myself through writing. I don't like being the quiet girl. I don't think i'm that shy, I just can't get myself to feel comfortable enough to talk in many situations. I think i've gotten better though throughout the years, but it's still a struggle. While reading this prompt, I remembered I would have to take the city bus home from high school everyday. I was embarrassed to do so, and remembered not telling anyone that I took the bus home. In retrospect, I should have just walked home. The bus ride home was like 30-40 minutes and walking home would have taken me about 25 minutes. I would have saved all that bus money too. haha. Working with my parents on Fridays and weekends wasn't bad at all in high school. I actually enjoyed it. I enjoyed eating there, meeting the customers, learning new skills, and making money. Overall, I'm glad I stumbled across these old college application essays. It was nice to remember my thoughts almost 7 years ago. wow.