thanksgiving break.

i feel like i've aged 5 years in less than 5 days. i thought i was mentally strong enough to handle what was put on me, but i really don't know anymore. my boyfriend broke up with me on tuesday, because he's not able to have a relationship right now for his own health and sanity. i've accepted that, but it doesn't mean i don't miss him everyday, want to be with him, and want to talk to him. that's life though.. must be out of sight to be out of mind, they say. but with him out of sight, i've become increasingly lonelier and discontent. he really did make me happier and i know i feel happier in a relationship.. not any relationship, but it was him that made me happy. my heart was broken when he said that i couldn't even make him smile anymore. i didn't bring him the same happiness that i used to anymore. and that.. i'm not sure how to accept it yet. and then there is home, which is always stressful. today i was a mediator between both of my parents. everyone was crying. everyone was hurt. and everyone was angry. things were said today that really hurt me and the weight of knowing everything or almost everything that my parents are thinking is killing me with each spoken word. i can handle my breakup, but i can't handle my parents breaking up.