sometimes

sometimes I get moments of strength and feel enough maturity to either call or write him a letter of apology and forgiveness. I don't want to lose him forever, but I don't know how to overcome the feelings of desire either. tonight I wanted to express to him that I understand his side and that I would want to continue to be supportive of him as friends. But the other part of me is unable to endure a romanticless relationship together, because that is what I know. That is what I am familiar with and feel connected with. maybe I'll have to wait another few weeks or months before I can genuinely say the things I want to say.