home

i hate being at home a lot of the time, which is why i try to avoid going home if i can. usually i can endure a few days, but it hasn't even been a few hours since i've been here yet and i already want to leave. i don't have enough freedom here. not only that, but being at home just breaks my heart every single time i'm here. there are too many fucked up unresolved issues that go on in my house and no one is willing to confront any of it. and it's the same thing every single time i'm back. i'm not very close to either of my parents. my mom has never really been affectionate or particularly kind towards me. i can empathize more with my dad, but he's always too caught up in his own frustrations to understand my perspective. i definitely don't want this for myself in the future. i hope there are better things out there for me with my own kids later. i'm also talking out of frustration, because it's been a long day and i didn't hear what i wanted to hear tonight.