"it's not like he's waiting for you anyway"

and as simple as a that, I got a reality slap. it's true. he's not waiting for me. it's been really hard for me to get over him, especially today, when it was so clear that he's moving on with his life. why can't i move on at the same pace? i don't know what's taking so long, but i'm waiting to get out of this funk.

colors of the moment

jade
teal
forest green
burgundy
oxblood 
black
lavender 

updated thoughts on my desires

i want to live more minimalistically. i want to sell and donate all the things i don't need. i want to give more. i want to continue volunteering to feed the homeless regularly. i want to contribute more to my family. i want to follow through with all of my fitness groupons, 10 yoga classes and 20 pilates classes. i want my skin to clear up. i want to be comfortable enough in my own skin to not wear makeup anymore, to dance without drinking, to venture out alone in the city more often and be unafraid of being alone. i want to be confident with myself. i want to find a group of friends that i can actually feel good around. i want to be the person i have the potential to be. i want to be the best of me.

Emotional Maturity

Taken from http://www.joyfulmeanings.com/blog/2012/04/09/12-ways-to-know-if-you-are-you-emotionally-mature/

So here are the top signs of emotional maturity.

1. You cope well with change. A person who is emotionally mature will not resist change. The change may be difficult for that person to make, but someone emotionally mature will realize that this change is necessary. An emotionally mature can handle changes and will adjust for those changes.
2. You are concerned with the thoughts and feelings of others. You are able to share love with others and realize that everything is not revolved around your wants and needs. You create an environment where you can place another’s needs above yours. You don’t demand constant attention from others. You feel secure with yourself and are not jealous that your friends or significant other spend time with different people. You give respect to other people. You are able to open yourself to new ideas that others have about the world. You care that you might be hurting someone’s feelings.
3. You can control your emotions. When you are angry, you do NOT verbally or physically hurt someone. You can handle criticism, and do not feel attacked every time you receive criticism. You are able to forgive others and do not hold grudges for past actions. You do not become very frustrated with other people and have patience for mistakes that people make.
4. You seek solutions to problems in your life. When faced with challenges, you do not show self-pity and take little action to improve your situation. You are willing to find different solutions to address the challenges in your life.
5. You rely on yourself for your own care and have personal responsibility. You are able to handle your own finances independently. You do not need the advice of your parents or loved ones to make daily choices about bills to pay and how to best spend your money. You do not rely on other people for your well –being. You manage your finances well.
6. You are patient with your wants. You do not always have to gratify your needs. You have self-control with your actions and can delay your gratifications.
7. You are hopeful. You believe that life can change and get better. You realize that life does not control your situation. You understand that with faith, effort and acceptance, things can improve. You believe that the choices you make can change your lifestyle.
8. You are a giver. You are able to give back to others. Not everything is about taking and using situations and people to achieve what you want. You believe in returning favors to others. You happily do kind things for loved ones. You are willing to sacrifice some of yourself to help someone achieve something he or she needs or wants.
9. You are independent. You can make your own decisions about life. You can take responsibility for your actions and can handle commitments. You are not afraid to be independent and do not feel completely lost when doing something on your own.
10. You are resilient. When times get tough, you learn to adjust and handle those difficulties. This may be a lengthy process but resilience happens. During breakups you do not spend years being unable to move on. Instead, you learn to move on, adjust and try and handle the situation. When being laid off work, you do not sit around at home, unable to apply to jobs and living off unemployment. You keep searching for jobs, sending out your resume and take advantage of any opportunity you can get.
11. You can step out of your comfort zone. You are willing to do something out of the ordinary and gradually get away from a situation that may seem secure. You can take risks in relationships, your career or with life decisions. You are able to pursue your dreams and purpose, even if it involves you doing something that feels a bit uncomfortable at first.
12. You live in the present. You don’t allow past circumstances to strongly impact how you live now. You are able to realize that people change, and can learn to forgive. You try to not repeat mistakes from your past. You try to not misapply what happened in the past to what is happening now (i.e. my last relationship didn’t work so now this relationship will not work). You believe that the present can be different from your past.

So what now? Perhaps after reading through this you realize that you might be emotionally immature in some areas of your life. You still might continue to be unsure about whether or not you are emotionally mature. Here are some brief tips to help get you started on the road to emotional maturity.

1. 1.       Ask others for their input. If you are really unsure about if you are emotionally immature then get the feedback of others. Ask for feedback and be aware of how you respond to that feedback. If you do not want to get the feedback of others, then that is a sign of emotional immaturity. If you do not want to take anyone’s opinion seriously, then that is a sign of emotional immaturity. If you find yourself feeling extremely upset about hearing someone’s criticism of you, then that might be a sign you are emotionally immature.
2. 2.       Seek counseling. In whatever area you are hurting in, counseling can help. If you can be abusive or have trouble handling your anger, then anger management counseling would be beneficial. Relationship counseling may be necessary if you are having struggles maintaining a healthy marriage or relationship. Look into hiring a life coach or mentor, if you really need some motivation about life planning skills and becoming more independent. If you feel counseling is useless, unnecessary or not something you can be bothered with, then that is a sign of emotional immaturity.
3. 3.       Take classes at a local college. If you are suffering from dependency, lack of commitment or financial issues then take classes that might help you break away from those traits. There are some basic life courses typically offered at colleges that will help with financial management, time management, and more practical ways to live your daily life. Be on the lookout for classes that help you with job hunting, resume building, or other practices that teach you how to be more responsible at work. You can attend a distance class or one only available locally. Fortunately, there are now many options available for people to take at least one class affordably. If you feel you can’t commit to a class or are unable to show up to class or do assignments, then that is a sign of emotional immaturity.
4. 4.       Surround yourself with a strong support network. If you have realized that you are emotionally immature then find people who can help you through this process. Try not to make this another reason to be dependent on someone, but as a mutually beneficial way to help the both of you grow together. As an example, if you have a hard time moving out of your home, then find a friend who can help you make these steps. Go apartment searching with your friend. Organize a budget plan with your friend so that you can make better financial decisions now that you are leaving the nest. When you move into a new place, have someone you can call whenever you feel lonely or lost. If you feel your friends are useless, do not want to do anything to help your friend, or do not want your friends to help you then you may be emotional immature.
5. 5.       Work hard at a goal. Think about the things you want in your life. Do you want a happier marriage, have a decent paying job, be able to lose weight, or save an extra $200 per month? Whatever your goal is, start working on trying to achieve that goal. Try to not focus on too many goals. For now, focus on just one of the goals that you have listed. Feeling that setting goals is a waste of time or believing you do not have control over your situation is a sign of emotional immaturity.
6. Accept your failures and believe you can change. Continue to be positive and realize that you may have some failures but that these can change. Everyone fails at some point. This is a process that everyone has to overcome. You will overcome this and it’s okay to fail sometimes.
7. Be responsible. Start accepting tasks that have some degree of responsibility. Start small and try to not overwhelm yourself. Do something that will involve you to step out of your boundaries and accept responsibilities. Make a promise to your significant other and stick to it. Ask to try and learn a new skill for your job. Commit to volunteering somewhere for a few hours per week.

dad is right

it took me a really long time to realize this, but my dad is right. you can't rely on others. but you can rely on family to keep up when you fall down. everyone else is only in it for themselves and not about you no matter how much faith you have. i've been disappointed too many times by others and taken for granted too often that i can't believe words other than my own anymore. i only have myself to depend on.

To: The man I knew

I’ll be waiting for the man I knew
the one I met last May
a story of what once was two
reveals what is today

summer was shared with hope and youth
blooming into what we could not control
passion grounded so strongly by the root
once again, my life felt whole

at summer’s end, came autumn’s leave
falling from the tree we grew
a storm paved way for mourn and grief  
with the season’s change, came the change in you

the man I knew last May was gone
in search of time, of self, of loss
with desires of strength and character that may dawn
I'll be here to see what he stumbles across

now in winter, my hands are bare
they are missing what they used to know
with knowledge of the risks I dare
I am willing to walk through the snow

As the seasons pass, i’ve grown anew
But still, my heart remains the same today
I’ll be waiting for the man I knew
the one I met last May

thanksgiving break.

i feel like i've aged 5 years in less than 5 days. i thought i was mentally strong enough to handle what was put on me, but i really don't know anymore. my boyfriend broke up with me on tuesday, because he's not able to have a relationship right now for his own health and sanity. i've accepted that, but it doesn't mean i don't miss him everyday, want to be with him, and want to talk to him. that's life though.. must be out of sight to be out of mind, they say. but with him out of sight, i've become increasingly lonelier and discontent. he really did make me happier and i know i feel happier in a relationship.. not any relationship, but it was him that made me happy. my heart was broken when he said that i couldn't even make him smile anymore. i didn't bring him the same happiness that i used to anymore. and that.. i'm not sure how to accept it yet. and then there is home, which is always stressful. today i was a mediator between both of my parents. everyone was crying. everyone was hurt. and everyone was angry. things were said today that really hurt me and the weight of knowing everything or almost everything that my parents are thinking is killing me with each spoken word. i can handle my breakup, but i can't handle my parents breaking up.

to do list before graduation

-more fun photo shoots
-update resume/apply to jobs
-part-time job??
-vegas
-rage clubbing
-eat @ sushi stop
-pass all classes
-sew a costume
-exercise at least 3x/week
-thrift more
-eat healthier
-bring lunch to school
-clear skin
-no more big purchases
-decrease spending in general
-talk to parents and grandparents more

feelin this

Memorable October Indeed

There were so many ups and downs in October. I entered the month with excitement of new experiences and left the month waiting for my life to resume back to normal again. Here's a brief glance at what last month included.

-midterms for 2-3 weeks
-car accident oct 4. car in the shop for almost 2 weeks.
-randy cheered me up with 2 month celebration at japanese restaurant surprise
-sister's bday
-randy drove me to SM
-picked up uncle's '95 civic as a replacement car for two weeks, thank goodness.
-the black keys/ tegan and sara show with randy
-midterm grades ranging from B- to A's :/
-group projects and papers
-bday at dnb's with friends. had a ton of fun.
-pumpkin patch
-OC great park
-increased responsibilities at internship
-first individual home visit
-grandpa in hospital
-benihana's with maggie for bday
-ba ut from france visiting
-new york with randy
-birthday dinner in tribeca
-halloween in nyc
-hurricane sandy
-extended nyc trip to one week and crazy journey trying to come back home
-disappointed family, especially dad, due to lying about nyc trip
-stress over managing plans for cousin's wedding due to sandy
-stress over managing hours to make up for work due to sandy
-stress over missed school days due to sandy

OCTOBER!: cluttered mental list of different things in no particular order

Midterms - 631, 636, 615, 617. all due week 7.
Internship - Learning Agreement due Oct 19
nyc weekend
bday
bday dinner in OC
bday clubbing?
pumpkin patch
beach before it gets cold
visit home
slo
black keys & tegan and sara
parents
sister bday
halloween
costumes?!!?!! what to be? make?
finish 2-3 nintendo dress orders
no vegas :(
sephora bday reward finally
halloween theme all month
sweaters and layering
orange =)
randy times

ahhhhh... it's my favorite month, and apparently my busiest!

F UUUUUU USC!!!!!

...out of pocket expenses for Fall 2012 tuition. Q_Q

Current beauty things I use and recommend

MAC studio finish concealer spf 35 in NC30 -- i've been using this since my high school senior graduation it's been the best concealer i've tried so far. it's creamy and covers my blemishes well. it covers my under eye dark circles well too and has lasted me a really long time. i've only had to repurchase it once and it's still lasting me now. i feel like my color has changed by now, so i'll need to get it checked next time i buy it.  

bareMinerals matte foundation spf 15 in Light -- I love how lightweight this feels and how well it blends into my skin. i'm definitely going to continue using this. it has also lasted me a really long time. i bought my first jar last November and i still have enough to last me until this November i think. 

Revlon Lip Butters!! in Candy Apple (?) and Peach Parfait -- I love the candy apple one (it's either candy apple or cherry tart, not sure cause the bottom label broke off.) it's a nice bright red orange color that feels really smooth and moist on my lips. the peach parfait one sucks cause it's too shimmery and sheer. i definitely want more colors.

Philosophy's Amazing Grace Set --  I LOVE THIS! The smell of Amazing Grace is so feminine, soft, and powdery. I love the scented shampoo, the perfume, and I actually haven't used the hand creme yet, but i think i'll also enjoy it.

Things I want to start trying soon are:

Make Up For Ever HD Primer in 0 PURCHASED

Urban Decay De-Slick Translucent Powder. i'm looking for a good oil absorbing touch up powder.  PURCHASED

Korres Lip Butters in Mango, Quince, Pomegranate, and Guava. They all look so yummy! i'm a sucker for lip treatments and products. 

Philosophy's Love Sweet Love perfume. it smelled so fruity and sweet at Sephora, I want!

fisheye friendly

hello

Ratatouille says, "Hello."

old emails i found from 2005 on my hotmail account

From 11/29/2005

Unedited. I believe these were my first drafts to my 3 personal statement short essays needed for applying to UC's. I remember they were due the next day on 11/30/2005. This was exactly one month after I just turned 17 years old. Rereading them was interesting.

College personal reflection essay prompt #1

Every summer since 8th grade I have lived for six weeks in the dorms of the 
University of California at Santa Barbara for six weeks. Taking additional 
classes with Upward Bound has allowed me to experience independence while 
broadening and enhancing my education.
My first college experience was taking Astronomy 101 at Santa Barbara City 
College. This class would have been more difficult for me had I not been 
apart of the AVID program since 8th grade where I have learned time 
management, organization, and study skills, while prioritizing, and setting 
goals. AVID has made me accustomed to taking detailed notes and listening 
attentively, which enhances my understanding of lectures. I also took the 
initiative to form study and collaborative groups with my classmates in both 
high school and college courses.
I regularly tutor my AVID classmates in a math group, which gives me 
self-satisfaction in knowing that I can teach someone through “guiding 
questions.” This interest in teaching others has lead me to go to AVID 
Mentor workshops to become a certified tutor; currently, I tutor in several 
academic subjects at the library after school. Tutoring has enriched my 
academic preparation for college and has built my confidence in public 
speaking.

This was interesting to read, because I completely forgot that was a "certified tutor" and only vaguely remember tutoring high school students after school in the library. I only sort of remember it, because I recall getting paid for it. I think I only did this for a few months in the Spring of my Senior year. 

College personal reflection essay prompt #2

I know that perseverance is the key to success, and that a challenge is what 
makes success rewarding. Taking difficult classes has made me determined to 
do well, because I am competitive by nature. However, what a reward is 
varies with each person.
I learned by watching my parents labor at our family restaurant that I do 
not want to come home to my children with new burns on my arms from cooking, 
like my father, or angry and fatigued on late nights after working as a 
waitress for twelve hours, like my mother. I have come to understand that it 
often takes sacrifice to contribute to the success of a family or a 
community.
My parents have the passion to push their children to become successful. I 
have the drive to succeed, but I ease the pressures of academics through 
forms of creative expression.
As a relaxation I enjoy creative writing and performing. I have been given 
my own personal column in my high school’s monthly newspaper where I am the 
feature editor. In my writings, I do not try to provoke others or preach, 
but simply try to inspire others to take moral stands and to experience life 
whole-heartedly. Giving readers a sense of how I feel through writing is a 
reward in knowing I have sparked the minds of others.

This was interesting to read, because I don't think I am actually competitive by nature at all.. only against myself perhaps. I was surprised at myself regarding the second paragraph. I still harbor the same feelings, but reading it again was sort of a reminder of my parents' sacrifices for me. I still appreciate it. In regards to the last paragraph, I feel that my interest in creative writing has dramatically decreased somehow. Thinking back, I don't think my writing in my newspaper column, titled "Christine's Column," was very good at all. I think i'd be embarrassed by my articles now if i read any. My interests have changed over time. Now, I don't feel the same satisfaction from writing, probably because all of the damn hundreds of pages of papers I've written in the past years during college has tainted my love for written expression. Instead, I've replaced journalism for design and photography.As for performing, I still enjoy that during my rare moments of confidence. 

College personal reflection essay prompt #3

I cannot remember many bonding moments between my parents and me. This is 
because when I was five years old and in kindergarten, my parents opened 
their own Chinese restaurant leaving little time for me.
While my parents worked twelve-hour days, I was raised by my Vietnamese 
grandparents who spoke only Vietnamese. When I turned eight years old, my 
care was turned over to my maternal grandmother from the Philippines who 
only spoke to me in English. This transition was difficult for me, because I 
was not accustomed to speaking English at home.
I recall having a difficult time learning English in kindergarten. Seeing a 
classmate vomit in the trash can, I ran to tell my teacher, Mrs. Bigger. I 
could not remember how to say “throw up” in English, so I could only resort 
to saying “throw up” in Vietnamese, which sounded like “Oy.” I can still 
imagine my teacher’s facial expression when she heard me say “Mrs. Bigger! 
Kali Mainard ‘Oy’ in the trash can!”
I also realized that no one except my father’s side of my family could 
understand Vietnamese. I began to notice that, living in the agricultural 
community of Santa Maria, I was usually the only Asian person in 
Hispanic-filled classrooms; as a result, I became suddenly embarrassed of my 
Vietnamese accent. I gradually lost sense of my first language, Vietnamese, 
though I sometimes still have dreams of my father speaking to me in his 
native tongue.
In 8th grade, it became my responsibility to help care for my grandmother 
as she was growing old and weak. Every day after school I would help her 
care for my younger sister and baby brother while my parents worked. Because 
my parents were always working, I was not able to get rides to the places 
typical students need to go -choir, basketball, tutoring- and even to and 
from school. From junior high on, I depended on the use of the city bus or 
walking to get to where I needed. My parents’ limited education prevented 
them from helping me with my studies past 5th grade and I have learned to 
take responsibility for what I need to accomplish. By the end of sophomore 
year, I grew more independent and realized that to become successful I must 
rely on myself, because I cannot always have guidance from mentors.
During the summer of my sophomore year, I began working at our Chinese 
restaurant as a hostess and “bus girl.” This was the time I began to truly 
understand why my parents are always so tired when they come home at night 
because I began experiencing the same energy-stealing hours of working at a 
restaurant. Working with my parents made me understand how hard they work to 
provide for my family.
I continue to work part time after school and weekends at the restaurant to 
help out. When it is slow and we have few customers, it allows me to squeeze 
in time to do my homework. While it is difficult to manage school and work, 
I found myself ways to balance a job and academics. This has given me a 
glimpse of what life after high school will be like when I take a full load 
of classes and also work. I am fortunate to experience preparation for real 
life while still in high school.
I believe that the time between the beginning of my sophomore year and the 
end of my junior year was an incredible growth experience for me, but one 
that has prepared me for the challenges of college life.

This entire personal statement was really sentimental to me while I read it. The grammatical errors didn't even bother me in this one. It was such an emotional flashback to a time that hasn't surfaced in my mind in years. I still vividly remember that time in Kindergarten when the girl in my class threw up and I ran and told my teacher. It was a strange feeling for me to have to translate Vietnamese to English in my head, because I got confused at which words to use. I've lost most of my Vietnamese now, which is sad because I was pretty fluent when I was 5 years old. I'm very self-conscious about speaking Vietnamese now, because I'm unable to pronounce things correctly, even though I know how it sounds in my head. It's embarrassing and frustrating for me to repeat what I want to say multiple times to my Vietnamese relatives and then sometimes having to just give up and point or use gestures. And although I don't feel the same level of self-consciousness when I speak in English as I do in Vietnamese, I also still feel some anxiety when I speak in English during public speaking circumstances and even sometimes during casual conversations with friends. I often stumble across my words, sound like I have a lisp, and say things that aren't grammatically correct. I feel like I sounds fobby often, and it's really embarrassing. I think that my confusion between my first two primary languages during my first 8 years of life have definitely affected me somehow now in the sense that I'm so unconfident in speaking in general. I've always been ashamed of how i'm unable to confidently do the physical action of talking to voice my opinions. I get embarrassed of sounding unorganized in thought, of pronouncing things incorrectly, or of not making sense. So instead, i often turn to expressing myself through writing. I don't like being the quiet girl. I don't think i'm that shy, I just can't get myself to feel comfortable enough to talk in many situations. I think i've gotten better though throughout the years, but it's still a struggle. While reading this prompt, I remembered I would have to take the city bus home from high school everyday. I was embarrassed to do so, and remembered not telling anyone that I took the bus home. In retrospect, I should have just walked home. The bus ride home was like 30-40 minutes and walking home would have taken me about 25 minutes. I would have saved all that bus money too. haha. Working with my parents on Fridays and weekends wasn't bad at all in high school. I actually enjoyed it. I enjoyed eating there, meeting the customers, learning new skills, and making money. Overall, I'm glad I stumbled across these old college application essays. It was nice to remember my thoughts almost 7 years ago. wow. 

something about her always makes me happy

Me: Grandma, what is something you've always wanted for yourself? anything..
Grandma: hmm.. nothing.

food post

for some reason.... i can't stop thinking about my food cravings right now at 1:30am. i think i've narrowed down my 3 top categories of food, and then within them, i've narrowed down my top 3 foods. does that make sense?

1. Japanese
    1. salmon sashimi
    2. sea scallop sushi and bluefin tuna tie
    3. okonomiyaki with lots of that japanese mayo sauce.. but i think this also ties with takoyaki with
        lots of that japanese mayo sauce

2. Korean
    1. Kbbq - marinated pork and cow tongue brisket thing (from Gen kbbq)
    2. Kimchi and Kimchi Cucumber
    3. bulgogi from Tofuya

3. Seafood
    1. crab legs and lobster tail, i can't choose. i just like them both with lots of lemon and
    butter....mmm.
    2. clams and oysters tie
    3. calamari

before school starts!!!!

-dineLA

-OC fair

-hiking? 

-sew costumes

-shabu shabu bar

-gen kbbq

-make macarons? 

-picnic

-fight club movie

-clubbing

-thrifting

-no other shopping

-get internship things done

-beach

-read The Lost Symbol?
-fisheye fun
-LA arts district
-LACMA? 

The Catman Rises

i fucking love and miss mulled wine...

Ingredients

• 4 cups apple cider
• 1 (750-ml) bottle red wine, such as Cabernet Sauvignon
• 1/4 cup honey
• 2 cinnamon sticks
• 1 orange, zested and juiced
• 4 whole cloves
• 3 star anise
• 4 oranges, peeled, for garnish

Directions

Combine the cider, wine, honey, cinnamon sticks, zest, juice, cloves and star anise in a large saucepan, bring to a boil and simmer over low heat for 10 minutes. Pour into mugs, add an orange peel to each and serve.

Ina's Mulled Wine on the Food Network

donations

I tried to clean my room again today and resulted in filling up two more trashbags full of my old clothes, stuffed animals, bags, and miscellaneous items to donate to Goodwill. I'm a pretty sentimental person and parting with anything I have is usually a difficult task for me. I usually like to keep anything that has been given to me by someone or things that remind me of events. Today I was finally able to let go many different stuffed animal gifts from people and memorable clothes, because I realized that although I may still treasure them, there are many others that would appreciate these items more than I would. There is no use for them if they're just compiling dust in my room. So in the trashbag finally went my polar bear bath & body works gift set given to me by my friend Brian during freshman year of hs, my old Looney Tunes sweater given to me by my grandma when i was about 7 years old, my first purse/bag, my 6th grade binder, and many clothing items that dated back to grade school but i wasn't able to give away until today. By now I must have donated at least 8 full trashbags to the Goodwill over the past two years. How is it possible that my closet is still full?? When i went to the Goodwill and donated the bags, i couldn't help but go inside and browse again (yes, shame on me). I actually saw some items that i donated a few days ago on the shelves for sale. That was amusing. I think i arrived at a good time where they had just restocked, because i found wonderful items today! I saw this lovely plum colored coat by the American Girl brand and fell in love with it, because it was so reminiscent of the 40s and that it fit me perfectly (it was a girls size 12). I looked it up online and it's called the Sugarplum wool coat that was made in 2001 and retired in 2002. It was originally $90, and was recently sold on Ebay for $75 in a size 12, which made me wonder if that ebay coat was the exact one i just bought for $5.99? who knows. next, i saw this cocktail dress that looked really nice and had a  1950s style to it. I checked the tag and it said it was made by Chloe and Reese and that it was 100% silk. The dress was about a size too big for me, but i quickly checked on my phone for the brand and apparently it's a pretty expensive brand from NY and is sold at Saks 5th Avenue. Most of the cocktail dresses i saw online by that brand costed $400 and upwards. I decided that I needed to purchase this too, because it was such an awesome find for $5.99. If i didn't like it, then I could try selling it on ebay i guess. Next, I finally found a mirrored vanity tray that i've been looking for. It's rectangular and long in shape. it's not exactly what i pictured in my head of wanting initially, because i wanted something with more of an antique lace trim and this one was quite simple, but for $3.99 for the size and quality of it, it was a steal. all in all, it was a good donation and shopping day. i'll update later with pics of my purchases.

total = $16

photo update

SB Shopping

SLO Farmer's Market

Foreigner Show

wishlist

orange beach cruiser bike with basket, swoonnnn. 

good day

Today was a nice productive day! I went through my room and donated another garbage bag full of old things dating back to at least 10 years (see photo below). The things i used to own are so embarrassing, i don't know why i kept them for so long and how they managed to survive my previous donation haul. old fisherman hats, beanies and visors that say "Asian Gear," those 90's belts. i also donated a bunch of old stuffed animals, a keyboard that i found, old costume jewelry, never used lotion bottles, figurines, plaques, and sunglasses among other things. 

I went to drop off the bag at the Goodwill donation center and couldn't help myself from browsing through the Goodwill for myself. I felt that i deserved a little thrifting after cleaning my room! went to the shoe section first and got two pairs of black heels for $1.99 each. they're both great. the pair on the left are super comfty hush puppies shoes. i love the ones on the right, because of the cute strap design, but these feel slightly tight on me. I also finally found a denim skirt for $3.49 that i liked enough to use for my ombre project. I love the button down detail and the ombre came out great!!! so happy. all in all, a good day of donating and thrifting. 

total = $7.50

The XX - Stars (Jonas Woehl Edit)

The XX - Stars (Jonas Woehl Edit)

feelin this

top 5 reasons for my addiction to thrifting

1. for therapy - it's relaxing, calming, and "shopping is cheaper than a psychiatrist." it feels good. i can spend hours at one thrift store just exploring and slowly enjoy my time there.

2. for savings - i'm pretty frugal and shopping is expensive. i derive the same satisfaction from shopping at flea markets, vintage, and thrift stores as department stores, so why not?

3. for variety - i'm picky as hell and thrifts stores are so amazing because i can usually find at least one thing that i like as opposed to not seeing anything appealing to me at most retail stores.

4. for fashion and inspiration - i feel that my sense of style is very particular and i enjoy finding unique items that suit me. i like finding items that i can alter or make into something that is my own. i also like finding vintage designer bags that are no longer sold in stores.

5. for treasure - i'm a hoarder and i love thrifting especially because i can find great treasures and deals, like an antique skeleton key hanger, vintage ninja turtles figures, or a beautiful old jewelry box.


thrifting regrets -- i wish that my love for thrifting began earlier when i was still in tokyo. thrifting in tokyo sounds so amazing. i went to one thrift store while i was there but didn't actively look for anything. shame..

productive day?

today was pretty normal except I actually accomplished more things today than I have during the past 2-3 weeks combined.. i think. although everything i did today was pretty ordinary, it felt kind of productive. i went to the bank to deposit money, finally got a car wash and considering trying to wash my car again on my own tomorrow cause i still see small spots of bird poop residue, mailed out randy's postcard, and went thrifting again. i got a blue sleeve collared blouse, a white sleeve collared blouse, and a black turtleneck dress all for under $5. at the thrift store, an old lady tapped me on the shoulder and began talking to me. i was wearing this long floor length black skirt that i knotted on the bottom, because it was too long and she noticed that i guess. old lady said in her old lady voice, "oh deary, if i was your neighbor i would sew that up for you! it's really easy. i just don't want you to trip. all you do is just cut the bottom and stitch up the hem up and down like this *showing me with her hands* and then it'll be better. maybe one day you'll even make your own clothes!" i smiled politely and thanked her for her thoughtfulness. she was a really sweet old lady, and i definitely enjoyed the small conversation about sewing with her. little did she know, i actually just liked my skirt that long and knotted cause of the way it looks lol. and when she said that maybe i'll make my own clothes one day, it made me smile because i already have and her words meant well. random encounters with the elderly are always great. Earlier in the day I sort of impulsively bought Black Keys + Tegan & Sara tickets at the Honda Center for October, which costed $102 for two tickets. dunno who i'm going with yet tho, but not concerned. i sort of just wanted the tickets as a bday gift to myself cause it's in october and i'm pretty sure i'll be having midterms during that time too. should be a good stress reliever. i usually like to set up plans for myself in advance, so i can have something to look forward to. on that note, i might be going to my friend's bday weekend in vegas the weekend right before the concert (the concert is a monday), and i'm already stressed out about whether i'd be able to handle both a vegas weekend + concert during the possible midterms week. i can only hope that i finish my papers a week early if that's the case, because i really want to go to vegas since i haven't been in a while. anyway, i did my laundry and have mostly upacked from my Mexico trip, but I still have a lot of things in my suitcase cause i'm going to go back to the OC soon anyway. school is approaching, i'm excited for the new internship, but i'm dreading the coursework. i always complain about writing papers and i'm sure this year will be no exception. i finally sat down tonight and cleaned out some memory space on my laptop. it was down to 16gigs of free space this morning and now there's 46gigs free! yayyy. that took forever though to transfer and delete about 30gigs. quite satisfied with that amount of space, because my laptop feels fantastic now. or maybe it running faster is just in my head, who knows.   i also cleaned up my computer desktop and changed the rest of my folder icons to tamagotchis. laptop makeover, complete. -Tine xx

home inspirations

I love this vanity area and will incorporate it into my future bedroom

reused tin Twinings Tea boxes

photo wall

antique/vintage collection corner

dream dress up closet

sewing and craft room

comfy area

wall decor

orange sherbet room with some kind of hand painted wall decal

why does it have to taunt me..

Marc by Marc Jacobs Classic Q Natasha Bag - $368

why does this bag have to taunt ME??? :( I've wanted a Marc Jacobs bag for so long and initially wanted a black Ukita bag, but this one seems so much more appealing now... I really wish i would have bought this instead of the Rebecca Minkoff bag that i bought on impulse and now regret buying.. I really hope someone buys it soon... :( seems unlikely though. 

animal print

thrifted this animal print top in a size Large today for .70 cents. Can't wait to alter it to my size by cutting off the sleeves and sides, then turning it into a collared sleeveless top. it's a cute print, looks like it was suppose to be pajamas or something. 

I really love thrifting now.. i think it's my new favorite hobby. it definitely relieves my itch to shop all the time and i don't get buyer's remorse because everything is so inexpensive. win-win! 

your trash is my treasure

Went to the Goodwill today and it was a good day to thrift! I guess I went during a time when they were just restocking the store. Found some pretty awesome things.

genuine leather bookbag briefcase $2.99

 room decor .50 cents each

 Starbucks monster mug .29 cents

 maxi button down floral skirt $3.99

total = $8.26 

:) :) :)

i think my favorite item today was the Starbucks one eyed monster mug! ..with honorable mention to the "He who dies with the most toys WINS" art stitching.