Tuesday

Sick. Went out with my housemates Friday night at dtf and got a sore throat the next morning. Had my cousins wedding Saturday. My sore throat progressed to a stuffy nose Sunday and Monday. Now I have a cough and stuffy nose. I don't know if I've repeated any of this, because I'm typing on my phone and don't usually reread my previous posts because I'm lazy. went to yoga sculpt yesterday and tonight. I missed my yoga classes so much. It's just so dn expensive and far. I did like 8 orientation hens video tests at work today. I got in trouble at work yesterday for giving attitude to the Snf social worker. I told her that it was her job to call a family and not mine. She called my boss and said I was rude and unwilling to help. Good learning experience I guess. I must watch my attitude and mouth to stay professional. Sometimes I still feel like a little girl. blah. Also disappointed in myself for being greedy(?) by wanting a higher credit limit on my BofA card cause I didn't realize it would be a hard credit check and drop my credit score down 3 pts. Grr.. Now it's 769. Oh well. I'm also considering getting either a canon t3i or t5i body. Leaning towards the t3i. The end. 

Sunday

Felt lazy this morning after a long and nice day at An Nam and Holly's wedding yesterday. I juice two glasses of green juice. I felt sicker today with sore throat and stuffy nose. I made boiled chicken for the first time today. It tasted okay. I cleaned my room, so I could vacuum. I went to Brea Mall with Maggie. I only bought a pair of red shorts, yay I didn't go overboard. Then we went to eat at Gypsy Den in Anaheim for OC restaurant week, dinner for $15. Awesome. It was mediocre there, wasn't too impressed. I still want to try the Costa Mesa location though for lunch sometime. Talking to Maggie made me feel better about not being with randy, because that relationship wasn't who i was or wanted to become. That was a good reminder, however, feelings will still be difficult to let go. Still feeling sick. I don't want to go to work tomorrow, or this week. OH WELL. that is life.

young hearts grown old

lamely excited?

that my request for a higher credit line on my BofA credit card was instantly approved from $4900 for $9000. yayy, except now I wish I requested $10000 :X

finally almost making that $10k mark for on one card

now gotta work on my chase card! 

Thursday

Today was rough.

Went to Santa Ana for jury duty at 7:45am and waited in a chair until 3pm to finally get dismissed and told we are excused. I stayed the entire time except during the lunch period from 12:00pm-1:30pm where I drove to garden grove to visit a patient for work, because I was so stressed out about missing work today. All I had for lunch was a blueberry muffin and lays barbecue chips that I bought at the courthouse cafeteria. After 3pm I went and did 3 more patient visits and then drove to the office to clock in and out. I went home and ate my leftover trader joes dumplings I made last night. And throughout this entire day I was thinking about how bored I was and was sad for myself because I had no one to complain to, which made me miss randy. Now that I'm home, I still miss talking to him and it's making me really sad. Just the lack of the little everyday parts of talking to him and complaining to him is making me really lonely. 

Tuesday

Today, I worked from 8:15am-5:15pm. I did some visits for patients around buena park and placentia. I made lunch at home, which was steak, runny eggs, avocado, and strawberry infused water. I went home and got ready to meet Eilly for dinner at Summit House. Dinner with Eilly was really good! It was a lot of fun catching up and having girl talk. I've known her since the summer before 2nd year of ucla, and we've been close friends since then :). I went home and posted pictures. I am too tired to do any online orientation videos tonight and also too tired to read :( maybe tomorrow.. Although, I am on-call for my second job tomorrow and I get high anxiety :/

current worries and fears and wonders

• slowly losing my hearing. i feel that my hearing from my left ear is getting more muffled every day and it scares me that it's so premature. 
• not finding a secure group of friends to hang out with. i feel like i'm such a floater. 
• not being able to find another significant other i feel so passionately about and have the feelings be reciprocated and returned
• wondering if my current career is what i want to do for the rest of my life. is there something greater for me or more fulfilling? i feel so content currently and not having enough growth
• is Orange County where i will end up residing forever or is there a better location for me?
• will my acne ever go away or will i ever feel comfortable enough in my own skin to show it?
• will i achieve my life goal of traveling to 30 different countries before i'm 30? is this a selfish desire when i could be using my traveling money for my future? or for my family?

mostly recent things i'm proud of

• graduating with my Bachelors in Sociology and minor in Education Studies from UCLA
• graduating with my Masters of Social Work from USC
• receiving a job offer less than 3 weeks after getting my Masters
• having a regular full-time job as a medical social worker
• having a second part-time job on evenings and weekends as an on-call medical social worker for crises and EOBs
• receiving a raise at my full-time job after advocating for myself and proving my worth
• successfully negotiating my wage for my second job during my offer
• having my online store tinyloon.storenvy.com that I still need to update with new items 
• finding a room to rent all on my own and moving all my things on my own
• building my bookshelf by myself and half of my dresser
• joining a yoga studio monthly membership, even if it was only for four months
• finally joining a gym, even if it is not 24 hr fitness
• working out regularly at the gym or doing yoga
• being financially independent - health insurance, dental, rent, student loans, bills,
• paying my student loans on my own and doing well on finishing payments within 2-3 years
• having a much healthier diet and lifestyle
• exploring Orange County on my own - LB Flea Market and more to come  
• planning a solo plane trip to SF for a weekend 

I'm proud of myself for doing these things on my own, because I am starting to realize that I am the only one who can bring myself happiness through accomplishment like these. I cannot depend on anyone else for happiness when I am the one who creates it for myself. 

Monday

Today, I worked a regular day from 8:30am-5:00pm. I went to my grandma's house for lunch. I found out my uncle had a heart attack yesterday morning and just got out of heart surgery. I went to the a yoga sculpt class for the first time since October 2013 when my membership expired. I went home and drank protein after yoga kicked my ass. I tried to prep for my work lunch tomorrow, but only made mexican style corn togo and my green juice made from sunday. I did five, 4.5hrs worth of HENS online orientation videos (but really finished them in one hour) that I did not end up doing yesterday (there are about 15 more videos to go). I wanted to read "Everything is Illuminated," but it's already almost 1am and time to sleep. Tomorrow, I will be having dinner at Summit House with Eilly and hopefully read tomorrow night.

I actually felt kinda okay today and almost content? 

Today

Yesterday, Randy and I broke up.

Today, I went to the LB Flea Market by myself. I bought a 50 cent ring and a $20 initial necklace. I went to buy Nektar juice. I went to buy a 10 class yoga package at my favorite yoga studio for $145. I went to get one hour body massage. I went to the gym and did 6 reps of 10, 90lbs back squats. I bought groceries for the week. I made carne asada tocos and also packed my lunch for work tomorrow with leftover tacos. I juiced 3 quarts of green juice. And i'm planning to do 3 hrs of online orientation for work before I go to sleep tonight.

I haven't felt this productive in a while. It makes me wonder where all this free time went before.